10 Things People Just Don’t Get About Anxiety

Dealing with anxiety is bad enough on its own, but when it’s misunderstood the problem feels ten times worse. Let’s take a look at 10 things some people just don’t get about anxiety…

“Everyone gets anxious, so what makes you think you’re so different?” Wrong! Yes, most people are anxious at some point in their lives. But conceptions like that just trivialise what could be a serious disorder for many. Someone who has felt anxious a handful of times throughout their life has it far better than someone who has to deal with it every single day. The difference is for some it’s rare and passing, for others it’s lurking every minute of the day controlling their lives and preventing real happiness and inner peace. A debilitating burden that makes even the simple things difficult.

“Just relax”, “Just deal with it”, “Just stop worrying”, “Why would you think like that?!” And other comments you think are helpful are really not! It’s not that simple and half the reason why people with anxiety don’t share their problems. Would you tell someone in a wheelchair to get up and walk? Besides, “just dealing” with a complex and intense disorder is not straight forward. We are forever battling with its force, feeling it pushing us dangerously close to the edge. Being able to control ourselves from falling into it is achievable, but can require a lot of strength and, for many, years of therapy.

That anxiety is just ‘feeling a bit nervous or worried.’ No.  Anxiety is much more complex, life changing and disabling than many people think. The word ‘anxiety’ is constantly used to describe a feeling that is relatively mild. So when you have severe anxiety or an anxiety disorder and use that specific word people just assume it’s something you can handle or something no different to everyone else’s.

“It’s all in your head.” Sure, anxiety can involve irrational thoughts, but comments like that simply downplay and deny the fact anxiety can be a major problem that cannot simply be “unthought”. It’s insensitive, unhelpful and unempathetic. It implies we are just plain mad and we’re making our problems up. Our worries can be irrational, but our anxiety is very real!

That having anxiety means you can’t get on in life.  It can stop you from progressing, but a lot of people suffering from the problem don’t realise, with perseverance, it can be managed. You don’t have to simply put up with it. There are Cognitive Behavioural Therapies (CBT) depending on the severity that you can be referred for by your doctor. It’s really worth discussing your anxiety with your doctor if you haven’t already.

That it’s not worthy of medical help and will go away on its own. Wrong. Leaving it could make it worse or spiral out of control. Don’t be ashamed of asking for help. Anxiety can be just as serious as other similar conditions such as depression. In fact, many people with anxiety often find out they exhibit the symptoms of depression. If your anxiety persists you have every right to ask for help.

That once your fears are ‘rationalised’ they won’t ever bother you again. Sometimes anxiety is so bad that, even when you know deep down everything is okay and you’re just being anxious, it still takes hold of you and makes you at least semi believe something is wrong time and time again in that moment. Reoccurring anxiety is a very real thing. Certain help may not be so effective, or will become ineffective over time. Sometimes you need that little bit of extra help.

That taking some pills will solve all your problems. Very unrealistic. If it’s really needed, then medication can help. But anxiety is also about reteaching yourself how to cope or react and how to think. CBT for example will help you learn things that taking a pill simply will not. That’s why so many doctors recommend CBT alone or CBT alongside your medication. Medication alone isn’t as effective.

That avoiding things in your day to day life will prevent anxiety from happening. You still have to live your life. Being cooped up will make you feel much worse. You end up having too much time to worry with no distractions to get away from anxiety. At your own pace, stick at it and pull through things: the more you do it the easier it will be to do without anxiety ruining everything. Avoiding everything simply means the anxiety wins and you are never able to do anything.

That having anxiety is something to be ashamed of and you’re weak and stupid to have it. Wrong. In fact, chronic worriers are probably too strong-minded with so much going on in their heads. You’re not alone in having anxiety. It’s just that our brains use our ‘fight or flight’ natural response in the wrong circumstances. We’ve had this survival element to our brains since… well, forever! No one who has anxiety is a fool. Some of the most intelligent, inspirational people of all time have been anxiety sufferers. You are actually a very strong and brave person to admit your problems and try and tackle them.

Feel free to add any other misconceptions about anxiety below in the comments section.